Getting Substance Abuse Support for a Brother or Sister
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If you want to know how to help a sibling with addiction, this scenario might sound familiar: Having a sibling from a drug or alcohol addiction can feel a bit like trying to help someone drowning in a lake reach the shoreline. You swim toward safety, dragging your sibling along the way.
But they panic, fighting you along the way, threatening to pull you under, too. You finally remember the advice to save yourself, swim to the beach, and throw your sibling a lifeline to hold on to. You pray they grab onto it, and you can pull them in.
Changes Healing Center understands that substance abuse doesn’t happen only to the person struggling. In fact, it can have an ongoing harmful effect on family members and close friends. Family members, especially siblings of struggling individuals, feel the pain of a family member’s addiction deeply.
Keep reading to learn how helping a sibling’s addiction can harm families and tips to help them accept the lifeline of a treatment program.
Janet Feared She’d Lose Her Brother to His Drug or Alcohol Addiction
‘Janet’ described herself as a “drug addict sister.” Her brother ‘Joey’ had struggled with mental health issues their whole lives and became addicted to both methamphetamines and alcohol – a dangerous combination. Joey seemed not to care about the consequences of his substance use disorder, so Janet dutifully kept things together for her brother.
They were very close, as they’d grown up in a chaotic childhood home where they had only each other. She and other family members often paid his utility bills to keep the water and lights on at his apartment. Janet even took on the son of her addicted sibling, taking him to football practice and games. She often caught herself making excuses to other parents about Joey’s absence.
Janet gave up her own life to help her drug-addicted, alcoholic brother. One day, the mother of two other children on her nephew’s football team approached Janet and told her she recognized the problem – she also had a struggling loved one. The mother invited Janet to get emotional support at a local Al-Anon Meeting.
Setting Boundaries and Learning About Enabling Behaviors
At Al-Anon, Janet learned about how addicted siblings and family members rarely set healthy boundaries. She learned that she was enabling the alcohol and drug addiction, even if she didn’t realize it. After several meetings, Janet hired a professional interventionist to help break through to her brother and explain how the alcohol addiction and drug abuse had hurt the entire family. During the intervention, she explained to Joey that she’d no longer engage in enabling behaviors.
She gave him specific consequences, explaining that she could not continue simply ignoring the neglect of his son and she’d use a legal process to remove Joey’s son from his household and see that he got the proper care a young boy needed.
Fortunately, Joey decided to seek treatment after the intervention. He was angry at Janet, but he eventually realized that her harsh words were for his well-being. Joey chose the inpatient treatment options at Changes Healing Center and spent 30 days in addiction treatment. After treatment, his whole family unit is still healing and Joey is working to stay free of drugs or alcohol.
What Caused Your Brother or Sister to Have an Addiction to Drugs or Alcohol?
Addiction is a complex condition that can arise for numerous reasons. Understanding the main causes can help in addressing and treating addiction more effectively. Here are the primary factors that increase the likelihood someone will have an addiction:
1. Genetics and Addiction
- Family History: Those with a family history of addiction are more likely to develop an addiction.
2. Childhood Reasons for Developing Substance Use Disorders
- Childhood Home: Growing up in an environment where substances were the norm can increase the likelihood of your sibling developing an addiction.
- Peer Pressure: Peer influence can lead siblings of drug or alcohol users to experiment with substances, potentially leading to addiction.
- Stressful Life Circumstances: Chronic stress, trauma, and adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) can contribute to the development of addiction as individuals seek coping mechanisms.
3. Psychological Causes of Substance Abuse
- Dual Diagnosis: Co-occurring mental health disorders – depression, anxiety, PTSD, and ADHD -increase the risk of addiction. Your siblings may use substances to self-medicate.
4. Social Reasons for Drug or Alcohol Abuse
- Cultural Norms: Cultural attitudes towards drinking and using drugs can lead to addiction. Societies with permissive attitudes towards drug and alcohol use may see higher addiction rates.
- Economic Status: Socioeconomic factors, including poverty or the lack of access to education and healthcare, can lead to addiction
5. Biological Factors
- Neurochemical Changes: Substances can alter the brain’s chemistry, affecting neurotransmitters like dopamine. These changes can lead to dependence and addiction.
- Brain Structure: Repeat substance abuse can change brain structures related to decision-making, impulse control, and behavior regulation, reinforcing addictive behaviors.
Addiction is a multifaceted condition. There can be more than one cause of your sibling’s addictive behaviors. Understanding that there are many reasons your sibling may have become addicted can help you find effective prevention and treatment.
Addressing addiction requires a comprehensive approach that weighs all these contributing factors to support individuals in achieving and maintaining recovery.
7 Ways Family Members Can Encourage Someone to Get Addiction Treatment
A sibling’s addiction can hurt the whole family, so what can you do to help them see that they need help? This section addresses some things that can help the family heal, even adult siblings of addicts who often enable the behavior.
1) Each Impacted Family Member Should Learn How Addiction Affects Lives
Learning about addiction as a medical condition – a substance use disorder or alcohol use disorder – helps family members empathize and offer appropriate, strong support without enabling use. It also helps in revealing any misconceptions or stigmas associated with substance abuse and addiction.
Besides that, learning more about the risk factors and signs of addiction can help in identifying the problem early and help the non-addicted sibling act quickly to get them to help.
2) Communicate Your Concerns About Substance Abuse With Compassion
It will take an open, non-judgmental conversation to help your sibling. Express your honest concern for concern about their mental health. Avoid blaming them or venting about your resentment or frustration.
Allow them to respond. Show that you have a genuine interest in their feelings and experiences. Allow your brother or sister to share what’s happening in their life without fear of criticism.
3) Encourage the Drug-Addicted or Alcoholic Sibling to Get Professional Help
Siblings of addicts, especially older siblings, take on responsibility for helping their struggling brothers and sisters by default. But it’s unrealistic to ignore your own needs and expect to overcome such challenging circumstances without professional help.
Don’t suggest they find alcohol and drug treatment options and leave them to their own devices. Help them look for treatment facilities and make appointments. You might consider accompanying them to consultations for emotional support.
Once they seek help, stay involved in your sibling’s life. Attend family therapy sessions, and get involved in aftercare planning to prevent relapse.
4) Set Boundaries to Ensure Your Own Health and Well-Being
People struggling with substance use disorders can run roughshod over older or younger siblings without a second thought. They cross lines they’d never have crossed when they were sober.
Set firm boundaries with your sibling. Tell them the aftermath of failing to respect your red lines – and enforce it if siblings ignore it.
For example, you might explain how you will no longer respond to phone calls or texts asking to give them the financial support necessary to buy more drugs. You might tell them that you understand the withdrawal symptoms that will soon kick in, and you will gladly take them to a treatment center that will help stop the drug use. But you will no longer disrupt your own home to help your sibling destroy his or her life.
The tough part comes the day you have to end that call or delete the text and choose to stop fueling your sibling’s addiction issue.
5) Each Family Member Should Have a Self-Care Routine
The constant stress of dealing with a sibling’s addiction can cause a rift in family dynamics, even in the closest of families. While you may want to offer support to your drug addicted sister or brother, you should first look at your own life.
Has your professional or social life changed because your sibling uses drugs or alcohol? If so, it’s time to start taking care of yourself. Exercise regularly, eat well, and get more sleep. Join a local Al-Anon or similar support group for families of those who struggle with drugs or alcohol. Even open AA meetings can be helpful as support if Al-Anon is hard to find.
Ultimately, you’ll be a more helpful brother or sister when you have taken care of your needs.
6) Parents or Siblings of Addicts Can Help Provide Help With Practical Needs
Sometimes, the only ones around for the long haul are the parents or siblings of addicts. When friends have had too much, your family might be their last practical support.
Offer to drive your sibling to mental health assessments or therapist appointments. Keep their children at your home for a few weeks if they seek inpatient care. Help them clean their home or fix them healthy meals.
Your sibling might not say so, but they will appreciate these gestures while regaining their mental health and getting help for their addiction.
7) Siblings of Addicts Might Choose to Stage a Successful Intervention
Carefully plan an intervention with the help of a professional intervention specialist, if possible. You start by gathering close friends and family to confront the person about their substance abuse in a structured and supportive manner.
Everyone who attends the intervention should present a consistent message about their concerns and the impact of drug abuse. An intervention can be very challenging. It will not work if parents or one sibling engages in enabling behaviors instead of being honest about the need for treatment. Offer immediate support and options for treatment during the intervention.
Be encouraging and have resources available for your brother or sister. Have a treatment center that’s ready to accept your sibling and give them help for their addiction right away. Hiring an interventionist can help ensure you iron out all these important details ahead of the intervention.
Changes Healing Center: Effective Treatment for Your Sibling’s Addiction
Siblings of addicts often feel like they’re carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. Changes Healing Center is a Joint Commission-accredited addiction treatment facility that has helped countless families pick up the pieces after alcohol or abuse caused disturbances and chaos.
We take a client-centered approach that considers each person’s unique needs as we formulate effective treatment plans using evidence-based methods. From individual and group therapies to resolving the core issue that led to the addiction to aftercare planning to maintain sobriety, we take a holistic approach to wellness that’s second to none.
We work with most major insurance companies and AHCCCS, ensuring your siblings can access the care they deserve. Our dedicated insurance specialists go the extra mile – they’ll even call your sibling’s insurance carrier on their behalf to start the process and get any necessary pre-authorizations.
Siblings of addicts can have a positive influence, encouraging their brother or sister to get the help they need. Give us a call to learn more about how we can help your sibling get a fresh start.