Using the 3rd Step Prayer in Your Recovery

Adopting the Third Step Prayer When Working a 12-Step Program

There was a time when I couldn’t imagine getting through a single day without something in my system. Something to take the edge off, to fill the awful emptiness inside me. I tried everything before I found my way to the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous.

And even then, I didn’t believe it would work. I didn’t believe in much of anything at all.

But something shifted when I came to the Alcoholics Anonymous Third Step. That’s where I first encountered the third step prayer. I’d heard people say those words in meetings, but I never really listened. Not until the pain got loud enough. Not until I was ready to stop trying to run the whole show myself.

The Place that Helped me Save My Life

I was ready to listen when I finally hit rock bottom. I reached out to Changes Healing Center and came to their detox program in Phoenix, Arizona. Through the support groups and introduction to Alcoholics Anonymous, I have been able to completely change the way I live.

My ability to turn my will and life over to the care of God on a daily basis has made me a new man. Through reading my experiences with the third step prayer, I hope you are able to feel the passion I have for recovery. If you are suffering, I hope you can find hope. Keep reading, and please keep an open mind.

What Is the Third Step Prayer?

The third step of the Twelve Steps says: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” For many of us, that’s where things start to feel real. Scary real.

The third step prayer is a tool. It’s much more than a string of words, it’s a surrender. It reads: “God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always!”

How I Began to Use the Prayer

For a long time, I couldn’t say it without choking up. It was the first time I asked for help without demanding anything in return. It wasn’t, “dear God, fix me now.” It was, “dear God, I give you what’s left of me, do with it what You will.”

I began to recite the prayer every morning. It gave shape to my days. It helped me feel grounded in something beyond my own chaos. Over time, it became more than words. It became a guide for my daily life.

Letting Go of the Bondage of Self

Self-will was my engine for years. If I wanted something, I took it. If it hurt someone, I justified it. My whole life was driven by ego and fear. Both are classic bondages of self. And the third step prayer doesn’t ask for fame or fortune. It asks to be relieved of that.

According to this study on the NIH website, there is a direct relationship between forgiving yourself and forgiving others, and the wonderful benefits it has for one’s recovery. This connection changes over time, but as it evolves, a person seems to grow stronger in their recovery journey.

Saying take away my difficulties wasn’t me asking for a perfect life. It was asking for enough relief that I could be of service to others. That’s a major theme in the recovery journey. Moving from self-centeredness to service.

Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way

Some of the older language in the third step prayer used to trip me up. Words like “Thou wilt” felt like a foreign language at first. But over time, I started to see them as beautiful in their own way.

There’s something sacred about saying, Thy way of life. It reminds me that I’m no longer living on my own terms. I thank God for that. My way nearly killed me. But Thy power, that’s a different story. That’s the power that saved me when I had nothing left to give.

Not Just One Prayer

While the third step prayer became a central part of my recovery, I also found inner peace in other kinds of spiritual language. At one point, I came across a Buddhist prayer that talked about releasing attachment. That hit home. I even read a Wiccan prayer once that spoke to the sacredness of nature, and it moved me.

I’ve heard folks mention a Bahá’í prayer in meetings or call out to the Holy Spirit when they seek spiritual guidance. I’ve whispered Oh Great Spirit into the night when I didn’t know what else to say. Different traditions, different words, but the same search for connection, for grace.

Practicing Surrender in Daily Life

I started using the third step prayer as part of a morning ritual to connect with myself and my higher power. I’d say it with my hand over my heart, asking for the help of “Thy power” to carry me through just one more day. Sometimes I’d light a candle. Other times, I’d just stare at the ceiling, trying to attain enlightenment.

I also began to write it out, line by line, thinking about what each part meant to me. The words “bless Thou” and “Thy servant” hit me hard. I was learning to become humble. To be useful instead of manipulative. Saying “Thou art” helped me recognize that I was not the center of the universe. That’s a good thing.

Witnessing the Change

After a few months of this practice, something started to shift in my relationships. I was calmer. More patient. I no longer felt like I had to win every argument. When I shared in AA meetings, I found myself speaking from the heart rather than from some rehearsed script.

And others noticed. They told me I was changing. That I was becoming more open, more honest. I started to bear witness to the power of the steps, especially this one.

There’s a line in a Baha’i prayer that talks about thy face shining upon all the world. And sometimes, I feel that. Like light shining through the cracks in my brokenness. A reminder that I’m not alone. I feel peace, and that peace reigns where once there was only fear. It all gives me great joy.

Integrating the Third Step Prayer in the Recovery Process

The third step is not just a checkpoint. It’s a posture I carry into everything now. When I feel resentful, I turn it over. When I don’t know what to do, I pray for the willingness to do Thy will. When I get stuck in self-will, I remember how painful that path was.

The recovery process isn’t linear. Some days I slip into old patterns. I say all the wrong things. I chase control. But then I return to the prayer. I ask again: Take away my difficulties. Let me bear witness to Thy love.

A Personal Prayer

One night, I wrote something of my own. A version of the 3rd step prayer, in my own words. I wrote: “Holy Soul, guide me through this day. Let my soul unite with purpose. If it be Thy pleasure, use me to bring light to someone else’s darkness. When life fades and fear returns, remind me of Thy knowledge and thine unfailing protection. Let me live by Thy words, and not my old instincts. Amen.”

That might sound like a church kind of thing, but it wasn’t. It was just me, in my little apartment, doing the best I could to stay sober that night.

Some Advice on the Third Step Prayer

If you’re new, and the third step prayer feels too big, too old, too heavy, you’re not alone. I felt that way too. I still stumble through it sometimes. But I say it anyway. Because each time I do, I feel a little less alone. A little more connected. A little more willing.

This prayer isn’t magic. It doesn’t erase pain or guarantee a smooth ride. But it opens a door. And if you’re like me, if you’ve lost your way, then opening that door might just save your life.

Starting a New Life in Recovery

I was in a bad state when I finally reached out for help. Thank God I landed at Changes Healing Center in Phoenix. I came in broken, full of fear and ego, and they didn’t judge me. They helped me detox, but more importantly, they helped me lay the groundwork for a new life.

It was in that quiet, structured space that I first began to truly understand the meaning behind the third Step Prayer. Surrounded by people who believed in recovery, I found the courage to start surrendering. Day by day, I started handing over the chaos, just like the prayer says: “Relieve me of the bondage of self.”

It wasn’t overnight. Nothing in this process is. But through the guidance I received at Changes Healing Center, and the way they introduced me to AA and the spiritual principles behind it, I slowly began to rebuild. The third step became more than a line in a book. It became a way of life.

You Can Heal Just as I Did: Reach Out for Support Today

I don’t know where I’d be without the support I got there, but I do know that I wouldn’t have found the strength to turn my will and my life over without that beginning. If you’re reading this and you’re struggling, just know that real help is out there.

I found mine at Changes Healing Center, and you can too. It was the first step toward a life I never thought I could have.