Boundaries in Recovery

How to Set Healthy Boundaries In Addiction Recovery

Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries in recovery can pose a challenge to well-meaning family members and friends. When a loved one is in active addiction, setting boundaries to protect oneself against erratic behavior is a must. It leaves loved ones no choice when a person struggling starts to harm their mental health or violate the emotional limits or personal values of friends or family members.

Boundary setting goes both ways, though. Just as family members may need to set boundaries to have a happier life, those struggling also need a sense of being treated in a respectful manner. For example, they should be able to recovery without fear of nagging about past mistakes – they’re trying to heal.

Changes Healing Center specializes in dual diagnosis treatment, providing evidence-based treatment to those in the recovery process. The team at our JCAHO-accredited treatment center in Phoenix also conducts family therapy sessions, helping families rebuild trusting relationships and set healthy boundaries.

These are necessary for the recovering addict and trusted friends and loved ones for restoring harmony in everyday life.

This post shows why, in a recovery setting, boundaries have a key purpose. You’ll also be able to print and download our resource guide to help you create boundaries and enforce them to build healthy relationships.

Create Healthy Relationships Through Personal Boundary Setting

Setting personal guidelines may feel like you’re erecting a brick wall – especially if you’ve never said “no.” But these walls aren’t intended to keep your loved one out of your life; instead, they are guidelines that define lines that they cannot cross in your relationships.

Setting clear boundaries in recovery sends the message that you want to have mutual respect, understanding, personal space, and emotional well-being.

Types of Clear Boundaries to Set to Preserve Good Mental Health

Creating consistent boundaries are a way to practice self-care in recovery. They’re effective for boosting self-esteem and ensuring a focus on healing.

Whether your a friend or family member of someone or on the recovery journey yourself, it’s helpful to know a few of the boundaries you can set.

Physical Boundaries

In the context of recovery, physical boundaries define your personal space, privacy, and body. You get to decide who can touch you, how close they can stand, and what feels safe.

Honoring physical boundaries takes knowing your comfort levels. It also means you must communicate your needs and discuss unacceptable behavior without apology or guilt.

Emotional Boundaries

You set emotional boundaries to guard your heart and feelings. They help you see the line between where your emotions end and someone else’s begin. It helps stop loved ones from making you feel guilty if you’re the victim of emotional manipulation.

They also guide you in deciding when to walk away from emotionally draining situations – with empathy, but without sacrificing your self-worth.

Mental Boundaries

Setting mental boundaries means honoring your thoughts, beliefs, and opinions. You give yourself the freedom to think independently without trying to control the thoughts or opinions of others.

In recovery, mental boundaries may mean avoiding people who start arguments or staying away from manipulative people. They say that it’s ok to look after one’s personal needs mentally. They’re a sign of self-respect.

Time Boundaries in Recovery

Time management skills are important for those in recovery and their family members. Time is a precious, limited resource.

Recovery means prioritizing the things that support healing; it makes space for self-care, therapy appointments, hobbies, and self-care. You might limit spending time with people who don’t support recovery and say no to unhealthy demands.

Enforcing Boundary Violations

Setting boundaries, is, of course, very important to the person recovering and their peers and families. But enforcing those boundaries set takes real self-awareness and strength and is a powerful coping skill.

When someone doesn’t respect your boundaries, you must respond firmly and consistently. The first violation usually means a gentle reminder that you’re pursuing a more fulfilling life and won’t accept the behavior.

Consequences are essential if they continue to break boundaries. For instance, you may distance yourself from the person or disengage from a specific activity. Be clear that the consequence is not a punishment but a way to look after your self.

If you don’t have consequences, it’s a sign you’ve set unenforceable or unhealthy boundaries. It’s time to re-examine them to see if they have value. If they do, it may be time for an adjustment.

Setting Boundaries in Recovery Worksheet

Creating boundaries is a way to show some self-love. Our worksheet provides five prompts to help you get started today. As you read about why each point on the worksheet is important, you’ll follow Lila’s journey.

Lila is in early recovery and needs to set boundaries as part of her aftercare plan. You’ll see how important it is to Lila to stay on the right track – clean and sober.

1 – Identifying Your Personal Values

First, you must know what values are the most important thing right now? Some examples could include:

• Respect (from self and others)
• Honesty in communications
• Peace of mind
• Continuing the recovery journey
• Personal growth

Lila’s Worksheet Entry: “Peace, honesty, and protecting my sobriety.” This answer reflects Lila’s understanding that she is safe and healthier when she chooses to spend time with people who support peace, not chaos.

2 – Recognize and Write About Your Needs

Consider what things in life will make you feel safe and supported? These might be:

• Quiet time
• Space to grow and heal
• Encouraging words
• Positive feedback

Lila’s Worksheet Entry: “I need quiet time to recharge, and I need my family to be honest and not hide things from me.” Lila’s response suggests that too much drama or hearing lies could trigger her old habits. She needs calm spaces and honest relationships to stay grounded.

3 – Define One or Two Key Boundaries in Recovery

You don’t need to set all your boundaries at once. Start with just one or two. Ask which boundaries will help you protect your personal values and support your evolving needs. For instance:

• I need people to respect my decisions.
• I must have five minutes of alone time to release my stress.
• I need honesty, not to be placated or lied to.

Lila’s Worksheet Entry: “I will not spend time with people who drink or use drugs around me.” Lila fully understands that it threatens her sobriety with others drink or use drugs. She’s probably also aware of the peer pressure that could happen if she hangs out with those who do.

4 – Plan How You’ll Communicate Your Boundaries

Think about how you’ll clearly, calmly tell someone about the boundary you’re setting. For instance:

• “I’m commited to my recovery and need to go to meetings.
• “I will not be available [insert certain day], because I need to visit the therapist.

Lila’s Worksheet Entry: “My focus on recovery means I can’t be around alcohol right now. If drinking or pressure starts, I have to leave the situation.” This answer shows that Lila can explain her boundary and protect her recovery without blaming anyone else for her situation.

5 – Decide on a Boundary Enforcement Plan

What will happen if someone fails to respect the boundary you’ve set? Examples:

• “I’ll end this call if you don’t respect my boundary.”
• “I can’t hang out with you if you drink alcohol.”
• “I must end this conversation if we don’t use respectful language.”

Lila’s Worksheet Entry: “If someone has alcohol around me after I communicate my boundary, I’ll leave right away, even if it feels awkward.” This answer tells us that Lila has put her recovery journey first, and she cares about staying sober even if it looks “uncool” to her peers.

Seek Support for Drug or Alcohol Abuse at Changes Healing Center

Are you ready to start making lasting changes in a professional addiction recovery process? Changes Healing Center is located in Phoenix and caters to the needs of a diverse population in the metro area and beyond.

We work with AHCCCS and take almost all group health insurance to ensure that no Arizonan seeking support must sacrifice quality care.

Today is the day to make the call to our admissions team. We’re here to answer any lingering concerns and help you discover how our customized treatment programs can make lasting change a possibility. Call Changes to get professional help now.